How To - Break Up with Someone (Friend or Relationship)
Hi Cliq fam, we’ve been thinking about YOU.
Relationships and friendships are so exciting in the beginning. Everything is new and fun! The other person feels the same excitement as you, and it is not uncommon for this fun time to overpower everything else in your life.
Unfortunately, new and fun doesn’t always last, and you may drift apart or learn more about each other that perhaps you don’t like.
There are many reasons people break up. Moving away, drifting apart, changing feelings are just a few of the reasons.
Despite the reasons behind your decision, we are here for you. Breaking up can be uncomfortable, a bit yucky, and sometimes it is just downright awful. We are here to help – ALWAYS. YOU are a beautiful, unique and special person, who deserves nothing but the best. We are serious when we say we want you to be happy and authentically you, in both your friendships and your relationships.
We know that breaking up is a hard time, so the team at Cliq Connection HQ have come up with some things to think about, as well as some tips to make your breakup as painless as possible.
BEFORE | Can you work it out?
Breaking up doesn’t have to be the only option when a friendship or relationship isn’t working. Maybe you had an argument or a fight about something. This doesn’t mean you need to break up.
This is a wonderful opportunity to let the other person know how you are feeling, and maybe find a solution to prevent you from breaking up.
Start by letting them know that you are unhappy and ask to meet them to talk about it. Chances are, they don’t want to break up with you and will want to work through whatever is bothering you. Talking about your feelings is an important part of all relationships. If you can work through this ‘speed bump’, it might make you better friends or a stronger couple moving forward.
DURING | When you can’t work it out
Remember when we said we want you to be happy and authentically you? Well, it is all true! You deserve nothing more than to be loved for who you are. If that isn’t the case in a friendship or relationship, maybe breaking up is the best option.
It is really important to be caring and respectful towards the other person, because while it is hard for you, they most likely aren’t going to be happy about the decision either. Remember to treat people with respect and how you would want to be treated.
The best thing to do is to be clear and straightforward about breaking up. Taking time to think about what YOU want and why can help make you feel more confident in your decision. It is important to know that while the other person might be hurt by your decision, you are allowed to do what is right for YOU.
You might like to write down what you will say first, so you don’t forget. A few ways to start the conversation are;
- · There’s no easy way to do this, but I need to end this relationship/friendship…
- · I know this will hurt you, and maybe as much as me, but I don’t want to be friends anymore…
Following on from this, you can explain why. Giving reasons is a really good way to explain your feelings, especially if you are experiencing a lot! Again, you can write down what you want to say. Some examples of how to give reasons could start with;
Remember the other person will likely be hurt that you want to break up with them. This may mean they try to get you not to break up with them by begging, getting angry or getting upset (crying). It is normal for you to feel angry, sad, guilty, anxious, stressed or overwhelmed yourself, but it is important to be strong and stick to YOUR decision. Most importantly, if you feel unsafe at any stage, you can leave.
Be sure to take your listening ears because, while you are breaking up with them, they may have something to say, even if they are unhappy or angry about your decision.
AFTER | Look after yourself and get support
Ok, so you’ve done it. You’ve broken up with your friend or romantic partner. Firstly, we are proud of you! It is not an easy thing to do, and no matter how many times you may break up, it doesn’t get any easier.
Now is the time to look after YOU, and a time to learn. You might be feeling a bit of relief which is totally normal! The first thing to do is to let your family and close friends know about your breakup. This way they can support you, particularly on days when you might feel lonely. It is ok to ask for help especially if you really aren’t feeling like your usual self.
Revisit some of your favourite things to do, listening to music, seeing friends, getting crafty, or going to the beach. Believe it or not, this is an amazing time for self-growth and learning more about yourself.
Breakups can teach us a lot about ourselves, and help us to build skills like honesty, resilience, and kindness, especially in difficult conversations. They can also strengthen our friendships, when we rely on our friends in times of hardship. Remember that your feelings are valid, and you deserve love and respect to live your most authentic life.
And remember, if you need any help or have any questions, you can reach out to our team by emailing he***@th***************.au or sending a message to our Facebook page.
